After doing some basic arithmetic I figured there were a minimum of 740 kids at whose Confirmation I officiated (about 900 B’nai Mitzvah) over thirty-seven years. For the most part – no, 99% - I loved working with these kids, and this year I loved working with Grace Miller and Owen Harris. While most congregations have that ceremony when the kids leave grade 10, you have it when they’re about to graduate high school. To that I say, YASHER KOAKH! May the strength of this congregation ever increase! (It loses something in the translation, but it’s stronger than Mazel Tov).
Confirmation is/was usually held on Shavuot celebrating the giving of the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai. When the Children of Israel received the tablets they said, Na’aseh v’nishmah, “We shall do and we shall hear(ken).” It began in Germany around the middle of the nineteenth century, in many communities to take the place of Bar Mitzvah. This was especially true in this country. Most Reform congregations had no Bar Mitzvah for both theological and practical reasons. Theologically, if we didn’t believe in Divine revelation at Sinai why have the child make a big deal over the idea, “Now I am a man and will follow the laws found in the Torah”? Of course, the next question would be, if we didn’t believe in Divine revelation, then why celebrate the giving of the commandments at Sinai? Well, we could deal with ten of them – moral and ethical, if you will – but not the other 603 of them (yes, moral and ethical but also ritualistic and sacrifice-related). It was the allure of the proclamation (First “doing” then thinking about it, the interpretation of “We shall do and we shall hear(ken)”) that drew the rabbis to that day for Confirmation.
But practically they knew that so many traditional congregations were losing their young boys after Bar Mitzvah. Extending the studies a year or more would keep them in religious school, thought my predecessors. They were right. And, as I wrote yesterday, the more observant branches took Confirmation from their Reform brethren and sistren, never admitting it…of course.
I’ve got a great story which I may already have mentioned. A very, very brilliant young man, let’s call him Jeff because that is his name, told me a month before Confirmation that he, in good conscience, couldn’t go through with it. This was a long time ago, but I recall that he said, “This is bull….” Hey, I’ve heard worse, and I told him I didn’t want to make him feel hypocritical, so I just asked if he’d discuss it with mom and dad and then get back to me. Did I mention that his father was the president at the time?
Didn’t think so.
Anyway, all went well; he wasn’t confirmed….and years later he called me from Texas, his new home, wanting to know if they could hold his own son’s Bar Mitzvah in his old Wilmington congregation. The young man met our requirements and they belonged to a synagogue in Houston, so it was fine. Jeff said, “Rabbi, aren’t you going to ask me a question?” I told him, “I have no intention of bringing that up. Don’t worry, and don’t say another word. It’s ok and just let me say I’m very proud that you stood up for yourself back then.” I always wondered what would have happened had I and his parents insisted. I think we would have lost a bright and ultimately dedicated member-of-the-tribe.
People have asked me, “Rabbi, what EXACTLY is it that those kids confirm/affirm?” I write about that for tomorrow’s article.
(Speaking of Confirmation, a true story, not a joke…Chicago Sinai Congregation (CSC) has always been radical, especially in the 19th and 20th centuries, at the time one of the few congregations that did designate Sunday as the Sabbath – though no longer – with a super-radical rabbinic tradition. Now remember I said that Shavuot was the time most Reform congregations conducted Confirmation. A member asked the secretary one day, “When is Confirmation?” The secretary responded in a huff, “Madam, Confirmation is ALWAYS on the same day every year!” The member said, “Of course! I forgot. Shavuot, right?” (though then it was Shovuos). “Yes, Madam,” replied the secretary, “in most temples, but here it is commemorated on the Sunday before Dr. Hirsch’s ship leaves for Europe. You should know that!!” That was told to me by a former CSC rabbi friend of mine).