Just about every year since 1982 we have attended the kallah (retreat) of the Greater Carolinas Association of Rabbis at the Wildacres Retreat Center in Little Switzerland, North Carolina (by the way, “Greater Carolinas” has extended to Arizona, Massachusetts and, of course, Florida with numerous states in between). It’s a five-day experience held at the end of July, beginning of August. There’s a scholar-in-residence who presents about 7 lectures on a specific topic, entertainment from the local population, pretty good kosher food and lots of shootin’ the breeze stuff. At the end of the week, we have what’s called The Big Show. Picture “The Gong Show” of old and you’ll get the idea.
When lots of kids were there they would dance and sing, put on skits and make us feel good about life. The adults would also add their schtik to the evening; some sing, some play instruments, and in years gone by we had a group of about ten who would write a skit about something in the news or something, well, “Jewish.” The best one everybody remembers was “The Gooch Gap Shul Interviews for a New Rabbi.” It might not sound funny to you, but, trust me, it was hysterical. By the way, Gooch Gap is the sign on the Blue Ridge Parkway where you must turn off the road to get to the retreat center. Across the years, especially in the last twenty or so, I’ve been the producer, director and MC. Knowing my sense of humor you’ll know why tomatoes are not permitted in the auditorium.
We also do a lot of davening, Reconservadox in the morning and afternoon, Reform at night. Rabbis from just about all the branches attend though rarely anyone truly Orthodox. As I’ve always said, it’s the one week of the year when there’s unity in the world! Sort of.
Of course, this year we’re Zooming the event and instead of Thursday evening through Wednesday morning, it’s Monday evening through Wednesday lunch. Instead of a seminary professor delivering talks, we asked four of our regulars to deliver lectures; we’ll preview a movie a few days before the start and then review/discuss it in one session. We also began a writing project a few years ago, again beginning that before the event but reading our pieces at a session in which all can hear us. These have been particularly meaningful.
And The Big Show?
Well, as one of the two who’s been planning the kallah, I told my co and the Board of the GCAR that we’ll still have it. The difference will be that I’ll start each session with five minutes of “humor.” Just as the real thing, the moans will be heard in Harrisonburg, but they’ll now be spread out!
At first, we were very upset that we had to virtualize the kallah. The drop-dead beauty of the venue – on top of a mountain with other peaks all around – was a draw, and just to get together with old friends (and getting older) once-a-year is, as you can imagine, something we looked forward to. Some of my best material came from my colleagues who would save their “best ones” to share with me and their colleagues. But then we realized this might be a blessing. Now rabbis and their families who “just couldn’t travel such a distance” are not able to use that as an excuse so all those I’ve been begging to come might show up next year after a taste of what it’s like…or because of that will surely stay away! We’ll see.
It begins on August 3rd and I’m sure I’ll have more to write about when it’s over.
(Speaking of the economy during this Corona virus crisis, a rabbi and minister were discussing what it must be like in heaven. “Well,” said the minister, “one thing is certain, we’ll have a good rest up there. No buying or selling is conducted in heaven.” “Of course not,” said the rabbi, “that’s not where business has gone!”)