It’s an experience to fly El Al to Israel, and when we had to travel there on another airline it just wasn’t the same. That’s because the airline knows that for many on board it might be their first time in Israel so those eight or so hours pretty much resemble Israel.
First of all, even before you get on the plane you’re in for a “treat.” Experts come over to selected passengers waiting to check-in and start their interrogation. Invariably they pick me. I think it’s because of my size but whatever the reason I await the creative questions that only a Jewish airline can ask. For example:
“What was your Bar Mitzvah like?”
“You’re a “Reform” rabbi? What does that mean?”
“Why are you traveling with Christians?”
In so many respects they love having pilgrims because often there are more Christians than Jews touring the land and its sites. But I digress.
They are super-strict for good reason. A colleague and I were in line once and the interrogator finished with me and started with him. He thought he would give them a hard time and answered ridiculously. I told him, “SHUT UP! DON’T BE STUPID!!” but he continued. Suddenly he wasn’t next to me. About fifteen minutes later he showed up, white as a sheet.
“What happened??” He said, “I’ll never do that again.” And then I ripped into him!
So at one rabbinic mission, El Al was a co-sponsor. We had the privilege of touring the major El Al facility at Ben Gurion Airport. The president of El Al then spoke to our gathering. One of the rabbis asked, “El Al is known for its tight security, the best in the world. What do you do that other airlines don’t?” The president responded in a split second, “Rabbi, if I told you that then we wouldn’t have the tightest security!”
The airline was known for taking off late – very late – and even when they took off more or less on time, for arriving late. In the old days the reason was that the passengers leaving from Kennedy Airport in New York had to take buses from what was called the Orange terminal, faaarrrrr out. This was due to security reasons. Now, however, boarding is in an area with many other airlines and their passengers. Next to El Al – or close by in any case – is EgyptAir. That would NEVER have been the case in the last half of the last century.
If you fly El Al, be prepared to daven (worship) with the Chasidim…a lot!
Now the flight attendants on El Al were known for being as brusque and business-like as the security agents. My in-laws were visiting during the year we were spending in Jerusalem. My mother-in-law knew about five words in Hebrew, but when for the Xth time the attendant didn’t stop when she asked for tea, my mother-in-law yelled out B’VA-KA-SHA! which means P L E A S E ! and not the pleasant version. Well, service was quick from that moment on.
I’m not sure about today, but there was a time when … ready for this … El Al was supplying meals for Royal Jordanian Airlines. Kosher and Halal (the Moslem equivalent) are very similar. El Al would make the meal, send them over to Amman and RJA would affix the “Halal” label. See, leave it to everyone but the government, folks, and peace would come.
One related incident…I was sitting next to a very old couple who were as sweet as can be. You know that the meals you receive are kosher; you can’t ask for a ham sandwich. Now there’s kosher and kosher, the latter being glatt kosher (I’ll explain one day). They got glatt kosher meals. The man whispers to me, “Do you know the difference between what you’re eating and what we’re eating?” I said, “Not really.” He said, “Of course you don’t. There is none!” We all had a great laugh.
Flying El Al is wonderful, an experience worth repeating over and over. And when you land in Israel over the airplane’s loudspeakers you hear Heveinu shalom aleichem, basically letting you know they’re so glad you’re there.
(Speaking of El Al, one of their planes lands at Ben Gurion Airport the morning of December 25th. The pilot announces, “Stay seated and keep your seat belts securely fastened while we taxi to the terminal. To those of you seated with your seat belts securely fastened, ‘Merry Christmas.’ To those of you in the aisles getting your suitcases from the overhead bins, welcome home.”)