It’s July 4th! Well, a week ago it was. Because of the nature of my article, I chose not to include even a joke at the end let alone dedicating the entire column to “Jokes for the Folks.” But here are some stories somehow or other related to this wonderful anniversary of our independence.
“Happy Chanukah everybody!” slurred the stranger as he staggered into a local tavern. With that the bartender laughed, telling the inebriated customer, “Just for your information today is the Fourth of July!!” The drunk thought and said, “OMG, am I gonna catch it from my wife! Seems like only yesterday she sent me out for the candles.”
“The British are coming! The British are Coming!” screamed Paul Revere. Mrs. Revere said, “Nu, let them come already. We’ve got lox and bagels, latkes, chicken soup, chopped liver.”
“Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?” said he. And she said, “Yeah, it cracked me up, too!”
What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
Who was the biggest jokester in General Washington’s army? Laughayette, of course.
“Do they have a Fourth of July in England?” “Of course, that’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th!”
Alvin: “My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.” Alex: “Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?”
Teacher: “Jacob, what are the last words of The Star-Spangled Banner?” Jacob: “‘Play Ball’?”