My mother-in-law would be 101 years old today. On her centennial we decided to celebrate because she would have wanted that. It was a wonderful family get-together at her favorite Chinese restaurant where we told Lee Wilner stories…of which there were no end. She was remarkable in so many ways.
For her 80th birthday we gave her a surprise, not a party…well, sort of. One day when she was visiting us she and Suzy were driving down the highway when an 18-wheeler passed by. “I’ve always wanted to drive one of those,” she said (she was the designated driver for all of her octogenarian friends since she was the only one who would make a left turn). Suzy found a truck driving school in Baltimore who not only loved the idea of hosting this woman, but actually put balloons around and had punch and cookies for everyone. The brawny drivers were sitting in the stands cheering her on. It didn’t end at that but that’s another story.
On her 85th birthday Lee called us, asking us to guess what she had done. You never took the chance of guessing because as bizarre your guess, the more bizarre it was! Anyway, she had been on a cruise and went parasailing. “The only problem was I had this 35-year-old guy as my companion on the gizmo and he was scared to death. I had to calm him down!” Had she been well enough she was determined to parachute from a plane for her 90th...”If George H.W. Bush can do it, I can too!!” she proclaimed.
When we were in New Zealand the “Spirit of Lee” entered Suzy’s body. She too wanted to parasail. What a pity that it was too windy on the only day we had free to do so! (Never did anyone PRAISE THE LORD like Suzy did when she was told she couldn’t go).
Once when making an illegal U-turn Lee was stopped by a very young State trooper. He made a BIG mistake. “I’ll have you know, young man, that I was a WAVE during the Second World War! I bet you don’t even know what a WAVE is!” And she went on and on explaining this, that, and everything else about her role in the conflict, apparently sounding as if she alone was responsible for our victory (she doled out the money when sailors came on shore). The trooper in his infinite wisdom said, “Just drive, lady. Consider this a warning.” Lee Wilner rides again! And by the way, she chose the WAVES over the WACS because she always believed she looked better in blue.
I was her favorite…
Hmm, you know, I’m saving this part for tomorrow, so be prepared for more about the indomitable Lee.
(Speaking of mothers-in-law, something you NEVER would have heard from mine who said to Suzy upon our engagement, “If anything happens between the two of you, I’m keeping him!” But that’s not the joke, this is…Mrs. Wilner was speaking to a neighbor, “Our Suzy is now in the jeans and loafers stage. She wears jeans and she’s engaged to a loafer.”)