It is said that the reason for the spices at the Havdalah service bidding farewell to the Sabbath as the week begins, is that a bit more soul has been added into the human spirit on Shabbat; we breathe in the spices to hold on to that addition for just a little longer. So tonight, re-read these jokes…either your soul will laugh one more time or I’ll be cursed once again.
- (Absent from Thursday’s column) Ira works in Israel’s high tech sector and before a business trip overseas he takes his trousers to a tailor in Jerusalem named Epstein. But upon his return Ira forgets about his pants. Years go by, until one day Ira reaches into a jacket pocket and to his surprise finds the tailor’s receipt. He goes straight to Epstein, hands him the receipt and asks, “Epstein, are my pants still here?” The tailor responds, “Yes, of course. They’ll be ready next Tuesday.”
- (You’ve got to be a golden ager, senior citizen, a.k., to appreciate this one).A young mother was about to kindle the Shabbat candles. “Do you know what’s happening?” she asks her six-year old daughter as she’s ready to say the blessing. “Yes,” replies the youngster, “Liberace’s coming.”
- This husband was reading about a Hollywood wedding at which a beautiful and famous actress married someone no one knew for anything but his obnoxious behavior. He said, “I’ll never understand why the biggest schnooks always get the prettiest women.” “Why, darling,” exclaimed his pleased and surprised wife, “what a very sweet compliment!”
- Since the future of baseball is in question this season, here’s one about America’s pastime…
Jake’s grandfather hadn’t been in America for more than a year and couldn’t get used to a lot of this country’s customs, but he was very proud of his grandson Joey’s Americanization. One day young Joey burst into the house, his eye shining with excitement. “The Phillies* won the World Series!” he shouted. Grandpa replied with a bit of trepidation, “So is that good or bad for the Jews?” (*Note…the original put the Dodgers – the Brooklyn Dodgers – in that spot. I, however, a New Yorker, liked none of the NY baseball teams. I’m now a confirmed Philadelphia fan…hope springs eternal)
- Beverly was the only Jewish girl in her class at an exclusive school. Her closest friend was Cindy, a Greek Orthodox young lady. When the girls received their final exam grades Beverly passed with straight A’s but Cindy failed miserably. “I just cannot understand it,” bemoaned Cindy. Just before the tests I lit candles to St. Peter, St. Barnabas and several other saints, and look what happened!” Bella said, “I lit a candle too.” Surprised, Cindy said, “What! You’re Jewish. To whom did you light a candle?” Beverly replied, “To nobody. I lit the candle and stayed up all night, studying!”
Well, there’s one thing you can say about older Jewish humor and that is, it was clean. Well, not all of it for sure, but would a rabbi put in something risqué and on Shabbat on top of it!!??