Part I: Bat/Bar Mitzvah
On Saturday, May 30th we will be having two rites-of-passage and they will be only partially virtual, virtual on your end. I will be present in the sanctuary to officiate at the Bar Mitzvah of Troy Kramer, and later that afternoon at the Confirmation ceremony for Grace Miller and Owen Harris. FYI, despite what I read in the newspaper we will not open this religious institution to more than ten, so only the families and invitees up to that number will be in physical attendance. That doesn’t mean you can’t “be there,” but don’t hold me to it; someone has to set it up and Rabbi Techie here isn’t that person.
Bar Mitzvah goes back centuries but isn’t mentioned in the Torah. It’s found in post-biblical rabbinic literature and all it states is that “at 13 a boy is responsible for fulfilling the commandments.” Before that the father is responsible. That magic birthday allows the “now I am a man”-child to read from the Torah, and by doing so he is stating, “if I can read it, I must do it.” He must now fast on Yom Kippur and, of course, he is counted as one of the ten in a minyan. (Don’t worry, I’ll get to Bat Mitzvah in a moment)
The custom in Wilmington was to have the rabbi conduct the service up to the removal of the scroll from the Aron HaKodesh; boy began his part at that point, read the par’shat haShavuah, the portion of the day with, of course, the blessings before and after, continue with the Haftarah and the blessings, give a speech, then breathe a sigh of relief.
I changed one thing. If the youngster is now considered a member of the minyan and has learned enough Hebrew to follow along, there’s no reason why he cannot lead the entire service. That’s the custom as well at Beth El and I must say there’s an enthusiasm on Troy’s part to do just that.
Having said that, let me once again mention something that blew my mind. When I asked the three pre-Bar Mitzvah boys (no girls in this year’s class) what the occasion means to them, I expected to hear “the party,” “the gifts,” but NOOOOO. Without blinking they said, “We’ll now be able to teach Hebrew in religious school!” OMG, hold the presses, the days of the Messianic Age are at hand!!! Was I impressed? W A S I !!!!!!
Now back in the days – centuries ago – there was no fanfare like today (but I suppose you would realize that even if I didn’t mention it). The young man read from the Torah at a Shabbat service and had lunch. There’s evidence that at lunch he gave a talk about the laws of his portion and what they mean. And that changed in the 20th century when bigger and better was the call of the day, and fancy themes overshadowed the themes I mentioned in a previous article when I wrote about my daughter’s carpool mates. The kids enthusiastically spoke about their themes and I said, “No, your theme is Torah, Mitzvot, Chukim and Mishpatim,” different words for law. “OH DAAAAAAD!”
So, what about Bat Mitzvah? It’s 98 years old. Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan had his daughter Judith read a little something in their living room on a Shabbat morning and, poof! Bat Mitzvah was born. From everything I have read there was nothing to it, but nothing became something. Girls, especially in Orthodox shuls have their coming-of-age ceremony at age 12, both girls and boys around puberty (but maybe not maturity…that’s waaaayyy later). They might read the Haftarah, but women cannot read from the Torah scroll as they would rend it impure due to menstruation (Don’t look at me; I’m the messenger). In Reform and most Conservative congregations boys and girls have identical roles to play.
Next we’ll look at Confirmation, an invention of the Reform movement, probably the only thing the Conservative and even the Orthodox (some) took from us.
(Speaking of Bar Mitzvah, The Zimmermans wanted to have the biggest Bar Mitzvah of all time for his son. They decided on a safari and chartered six planes for the guests, and another six planes for the hunting and camping equipment, food and drink. When they arrived, the parents hired five hundred native pack-bearers and dozen guides, cooks and a master chef. They then began their trek through the jungle. Suddenly the entourage came to a screeching halt. Sitting on top of an elephant, Mr. Zimmerman called out, “What’s holding us up?” And the word was relayed back, “There’s another Bar Mitzvah ahead of us!”)