They’re accumulating, friends, so I thought I’d use this opportunity to give you what I’m calling “Jokes for the Folks.” And, trust me, it’s better to get some – not all - over with in one fell swoop ‘cause they’re lousy.
- Sam is driving in Jerusalem. He’s late for a meeting, he’s looking for a parking space,
and can’t find one. In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says, “Lord, if you find
me a parking place, I promise that I’ll eat only kosher, respect Shabbat, and eat only
matzah on Passover.” Miraculously, a space opens up just in front of him. He turns his
face up to heaven and says, “Never mind, I just found one.”
- Mr. Goldberg was heading out of the synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Grumbacher
was standing at the door shaking hands as the congregation departed. The rabbi grabbed
Mr. Goldberg by the hand, pulled him aside and whispered these words at him: “You need
to join the Army of God!” Mr. Goldberg replied: “I’m already in the Army of God, Rabbi.”
The rabbi questioned: “How come I don’t see you except for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur?”
Mr. Goldberg whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.” (Sorry)
- What do you call a person who gets excited by the Bread of Affliction? A matzahchist. (Sorrier)
- What kind of shoes did the Egyptians wear during the plague of frogs? Open-toad (Sorry-ist)
(A joke from my Lutheran pastor, or as he wrote, “Lent humor”…There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with it for some time. Eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings. Smokey put in a bid; and because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine. Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a clap of horrendous thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thin paint. Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried, “Oh God, Oh God, forgive me. What should I do?” And from the thunder, a might voice spoke, “REPAINT, REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE!”)