So about five years ago my ophthalmologist called in the practice’s glaucoma expert to confirm his suspicion. The specialist had my chin on that neck-breaking plate and my eyes open wide with that sun-bright light beam shining for about ten minutes before he said, “I want you to go to Dr. So-and-So. I’m not sure you’ve got glaucoma, but you’ve got the weirdest eyes I’ve ever seen.” Following his advice, I went to that so-and-so who also had my chin on the plate for what seemed to be an eternity and the light piercing my eyes. He also said he wasn’t sure about the diagnosis but, and I interrupted him, “Yeah, I know, I’ve got the weirdest eyes you’ve ever seen.” He said, “That’s right. Who told you?” And of course, I replied, “The exact words from the doctor who told me to come to you for a second opinion!” (Duh!)
That’s not the story. This is…
When I went back to the first specialist he said, “Whether or not you actually have glaucoma I want you to try these drops for one month. If they work, fine, but if not, you’ll try another prescription the next month and a third the one after that if the second drops don’t work as I’d like.”
The pressure went down a bit with drops one and two but he still wanted me to try the third. He warned me, though: “You’ve got to be very careful with these. Make sure they land directly in your eye. They’re also sold over-the-counter to help eyelashes grow.”
I was very careful indeed, but one morning I woke up, walked into the bathroom and couldn’t believe what I saw. Not my eyelashes, but ONE of my EYEBROWS had grown unnaturally overnight. I was tempted to call the lawn guy to mow it!
When I went downstairs both Suzy and our daughter Elana looked at me in total disbelief. I called the ophthalmologist who couldn’t believe what he saw and then I went to the barber. I only wish I had taken a photo of that but, believe me, I’ve got plenty of witnesses.
Remember, Shabbat is the time for a bit of fluff, not heavy stuff, but honestly, it actually happened.
Now, what’s the Jewish connection…‘cause I always want to have a Jewish connection in my writings. Well, I’m Jewish. That’s the best I can do.