“Tanzania and Brooklyn: Brothers in Stupidity”

   The ultra-Orthodox remain adamant on maintaining large gatherings for weddings, funerals and worship in the midst of this pandemic. Of course, wearing masks is out-of-the-question since it is unnecessary when God is on your side. And the president of Tanzania believes virtually the same thing. All you need is prayer and herbal-infused steam therapy. In the meantime, President Magufuli hasn’t been seen for a while, and it is believed he is in Kenya being treated for Covid-19. Now how can that be? Honestly! Herbal-infused steam therapy and prayer is as effective as bleach, right? 

   Our brethren in Brooklyn, Israel, and other locales where there are high density ultra-Orthodox communities, have been suffering from the disease in a proportion well beyond the general community. It’s amazing: we are told to eat on Yom Kippur if we are far less ill than with Covid because life proceeds all else, including Torah study. “Life precedes all else!” is a decree from Above, claim those who are Torah-true, as often they refer to themselves, yet they can insist that no restrictions on their communities are necessary because continuing what they do, sitting real close together in yeshivas, davening close together in shul, dancing holding hands (no, of course not mixed dancing) at simchas, mourning in tight clusters at funerals, arguing minutiae from the texts face-to-face, is the answer to ending the restrictions, and thereby ending the pandemic! And YOU, dear friends, didn’t know that??

They’ve already lost at least two of their most beloved rabbis from Covid. Yes, they were in their 90s but along with all the other deaths they’ve suffered this year from the disease, you’d think they’d put two and two together. I guess in world of the frummies (Orthodox), 2 + 2 = 613 (as in the number of mitzvot/commandments). I mean, my proficiency in math would have me come up with that answer, but if enough people told me how absurd my behavior was and that a radical change in my ignorant thinking might reverse the trend, I sure believe I’d listen. Oh, well, then I think of non-ultra-Orthodox in this country who believe all kinds of things, including the results of… awwwww, fuhgetaboutit! as the sign says when you’re leaving Brooklyn.